Focus

I doubt I have readers anymore, as I have been absent from my blog for a while. But on the off chance any of you are left..

You may notice a few things missing from my blog. Like about 20 posts. I'm not exactly sure why, but I've decided to revert most of them to draft. Something about trying to focus on the present and future, annot the past. And maybe trying to find an actual direction for my blog to go, rather than just floating around all willy-nilly.

I am going to give you (the maybe two of you that might see this) an update about, well, me. First and foremost, my boys are doing wonderfully. We've been through a lot of turmoil and I was terrified of how they may be affected by it all, but they are thriving. Well, they're still my little demons, hehe. And their doing well is definitely a big part of me doing well myself. I have acquired a job at the Senior Activity Center, and enjoy it there beyond belief. I'm learning to be less closed off, less terrified of people and places. I'm allowing people to enter my life. I'm... Healing. I'm still searching for myself, though, something i think I'll be doing for a good long while yet.

Thank you, those of you who've cared, read my numerous ramblings, and been there for me. And if you're just now stumbling across this blog, I'm sorry it's so dull, but i hope you bare with me for a while, because it may become something great.

Dresden (part one)

She stares blankly
With cool glass eyes
Red painted lips
And black bow ties
Satin hair
Down to her knees
A silk corset
Holds in her screams
White porcelain skin
She has no flaws
Pretty pink polish
Hiding razor sharp claws

She never cries
She never laughs
She sits alone
The hours pass

A little girl
No more than six
Enters the shop
To take her pick
Her eyes light up
She's made her choice
"Time to go home,"
Her mother's voice

And as the girl straps her new doll in
Red painted lips begin to grin

I'm not sure what to call this one. (another poem)

This first one is very powerful, so um.. I don't know, be prepared or whatever. (this is me, being wordy :\ )

Daddy's standing in the kitchen
A cruel look upon his face
Yelling, oh so loudly
Features distorted with rage
I watch him hit my momma
See her crumple to the floor
Then he kicks her in the ribs
And she slams into the door

He tells her to get up right now
Says she doesn't even know
The pain he has in store for her
And he deals another blow

As I sit on the stairs and cry
I know there's nothing I can do
For this happens every day
It surely isn't new

But now there's something wrong
Something different than before
My momma just will not get up
She's lying still upon the floor
I curl myself into a ball
And tears roll down my face
I know that if I make a sound
I will take my momma's place

Random music videos! Yay!

In the mood for some awesome music? Why, so am I!
So here are some random AWESOME songs by random awesome artists.

Liquor Store - Devil Doll
Folsom Prison Blues - Johnny Cash
Momma Knows Best - Jessie J
Sexy Silk - Jessie J
Johnny's Got a Boom Boom - Imelda May
Jump, Jive an Wail - Brian Setzer Orchestra
Give Me More - Apartment 26