Sunday, October 23, 2011

Old Poems? Sure.

So I decided to post some of my old poems, since my best and most wonderful friend says that she's upset that I haven't written anything in forever. They're not great, so feel free to skip over them if you wish, my two or so readers.

It's times like these I cannot seem
To face these fears inside of me.
Haunting me. Daunting me.
Pulling me. Pushing me.
Far beyond my breaking point
I cannot face these fears tonight.
Marred and scarred and pulled apart
You've broken my soul
And ripped out my heart.
I need to forgive but I cannot forget
The pleasure you took
When you made me a wreck.
You ruined my life. You ruined my dreams.
Caused sleepless nights of muffled screams.
I just want all this pain to end.
Want my body, soul, and mind to mend.
But it's times like these I cannot seem
To face these fears inside of me.
So I'll just go on another day
Keeping inside this unending pain.

 Insult to Injury
I cried another tear today when I listened to our song.
I don't understand what happened; I don't understand what went wrong.
Out of all the people I trusted, you're the one who hurt me most.
I don't understand why you did it, or where you got the balls to boast!
I just couldn’t take it any longer living in the hell you put me through.
And yet I'll never know another love like the love I had with you.

I cried another tear today, when I listened to our song.
And now I understand what happened, I know exactly why things went wrong.
You made me love you more than life itself, doting on you every day.
And when tomorrow comes it will be too late, because I'm going to make you pay.
And then you'll know how much it hurt to feel life slowly drain away.
And in your last conscious thought you'll know why I cried when I heard our song today.

And when I look into your eyes
I know I'm happy to be alive..

You saved me from myself, you know
Held on to me and wouldn't let go.
I was on the brink, looming over the edge
But you gave me hope, with all that you said.
I gave you my heart, my soul and my mind
Praying that you wouldn't leave me behind.

You forgave me all my trespasses
and my not-so-gracious past.
Told me everything would be okay
and that forever, our love would last.

You made me want to live again.
Allowed my body, soul, and mind to mend.
You picked up the pieces of my broken heart.
And together, with you, my new life will start.

I'm not the girl I used to be..

Open me up and you will see.
Look down deep inside of me.
Your gaze will linger on my heart.
And this is where it all will start.
Cut me up and tear it out.
Sew my mouth so I won't shout.

Hold my heart bleeding in your hands.
Hear the message that it sends.
It speaks to you of hours past.
Asks if only you will last.
Wonders why you cannot see
These feelings deep inside of me.

Now I'll take you on a journey.
Which will end upon a gurney.
Slipping, sliding, through the past.
Leaving you completely aghast.
This is how I used to be.
And this is what you've done to me.

Another loved one died last night.
He won’t leave me alone.
Won’t stop following, torturing.
He’s after me again, I know.

I can feel him right behind me
As I try to get away.
I know I must if I wish to live
To see another day.

I run faster, climb higher
But I can feel him keeping close.
In this house that has become my prison
Where I am the unwilling host.

At the top of the stairs I reach the attic door.
And I know he’s close behind.
I will myself to open it.
Not knowing what secrets I will find.

Darkness swirling all around me
Encroaching more and more.
The feeling almost suffocating
As I open up the door.
But all I see is a mystic mirror
Standing low upon the floor.

Fearing the answer I shall find
I kneel down upon one knee.
I look into the mirror..
And see the killer..

It is me.

So there you have it. Please keep in mind these were written when I was roughly 15-18 (hence the complaints from said best friend). I actually DO have a couple I've written in the past couple years.. I'll get them on here.. eventually.


  1. I loved Untitled and Secrets. You write very well, good job and keep them coming!!!

  2. Haha.. My mom actually used to have a cafemom account, and posted some of my poems when I was like 15.. you wouldn't believe the negative responses! Not because of how I write, but because apparently, me choosing to write about what I do, I must have been molested or raped or had a horrid childhood..

    Because no one else has *ever* written about things they've not experienced before..

    Anyway, thanks! Haha.